untitled

k so biggest breakdown to date
last night
a third party got involved
and you got upset
told me
you didn't want to be with me
ever again
we'll never be together again
this plus that
equals
meltdown
crying, screaming
wailing
throwing up
then calmness
consider...
going home
downing pills
whatever i can get my hands on
no. check myself into a hospital
so that nothing happens.
no.
talk to someone who knows you
who can help me understand.
now i understand.
i see you. your issues.
and i completely understand.
i'm here for you.
i love you
forever and always.
then today, apologies.
for you being upset.
and misunderstandings
i completely apologize
for misunderstanding you
and for upsetting you
and i apologize
for being me
for still thinking i've done something wrong
for wanting you
for wanting to be there for you
and
as sorry as i am
i'm going to keep doing it all
i'm going to be
the best fucking friend
you've ever had