untitled

i saw you
spent time with you
fuck, that was hard
it takes me back to being a kid.
LOOK WITH YOUR EYES, NOT YOUR HANDS
i can't touch you
can't reach out to you
i can't even tell you what i've been up to
(if you ask)
because you know what i've been up to?
hating everything
wanting to die
thinking of ways
to rid the world
of me
and i can't even tell you any of this
because i won't let myself
and the last thing i could stand
is living with myself
if you thought i was weak
or i upset you in any way