untitled

i hate this part
where
i try to do something
that makes me happy
when i know
nothing will
i try to make plans
nothing works
thinking of the future
my future
makes me think of you
then i want to tell you
i love you
need you
want you back
strange though,
when i'm asked
"if there was one thing in this world that could make you happy, what would it be?"
my first thought is "you"
my actual response,
"i don't know"
i'm not ashamed
never ashamed
just tired
of being shot down
by everyone but you