untitled

everyday with you
was like christmas
but i guess
christmas just
doesn't work out for me
[<3 dewey]

untitled

i refuse to
die without you
knowing what's happening
in my heart

untitled

i hate this part
where
i try to do something
that makes me happy
when i know
nothing will
i try to make plans
nothing works
thinking of the future
my future
makes me think of you
then i want to tell you
i love you
need you
want you back
strange though,
when i'm asked
"if there was one thing in this world that could make you happy, what would it be?"
my first thought is "you"
my actual response,
"i don't know"
i'm not ashamed
never ashamed
just tired
of being shot down
by everyone but you

untitled

can't stop
must stop
won't stop
dreaming
you and i
forever
together
i'm sane
you're safe
we're happy
i wish i knew
exactly what we both wanted

untitled

home is a disease on my skin
a self-plague
one which i am incapable of handling
memories flooding
creating an onslaught of wounds and open sores
from which only loss can bleed
no matter how hard i try
the memories keep flooding
loss continues pouring
and the decision is never finalized
"i welcome this pain, beating down on me"
the only thing keeping me balanced between breathing
and the final pull of the trigger;
YOU

untitled

shut up
shut up
shut up
shut up
i'm sorry
sorrysorrysorry
so so so
fucking
sorry
...
still sorry
always sorry
is forgiveness
in your vocabulary?

untitled

wish there
was something
i could do
for you
this is
a weak
as shit
excuse for
poetry


i'm sorry
forgive me

untitled

every slice of my skin
every drop of blood
is redemption
and blissful ignorance
i can never breathe when i remember you
and even from day one
you had me by the heart
the hand
always by my side
you promised me forever
you lied

untitled

trying to think
of all the things
i would sacrifice
for a deep cut
the only thing i'm sure about
is i'll never give you up
and i'll never give up on you

untitled

every mark in my skin
is a memory of you
the blood
payment for remembering it
and you
for being the one
who pushed you away
my payment
will never be complete
the memories of you
will never cease to haunt me